Cat's Musings

A Spiritual Awakening in Big Bend

This was my second day in Big Bend, in my trip nearly a decade ago. If you haven't read the first entry, you can read it here.

Pulling over to take a picture from the road side in the golden light of dawn.

It was still dawn, and the sky was a bloom of purple and blue. The road out from Terlingua to Study Butte and eventually the park itself is truly remote. The moment you put Terlingua behind you, you see nothing but sand, dry shrub grasses, stone and, in the distance, mountains. I thought I had seen desert before, but this was a whole different world.

My first stop that morning in Big Bend was at Panther Junction Visitor Center. It was difficult not to purchase everything. It was my first time at a national park. I got a mug, many post cards, and a handful of other souvenirs. You know what I didn’t bring with me on my trip to the desert, however? Water. (That’ll come up again later). I spent a total of four days in Big Bend, but most of those days were spent driving around, and seeing all the sights I could.

Greenery in the higher elevations, where rain and cooler weather make a different world from the desert basin below.

I crested one of the mountain roads to the higher elevations. I knew elevation changed climate and flora, but I had never seen it happen before. I looked at my hiking map, and saw this trail was rated as challenging – not the most ideal one for my first hike. I got out, and walked a bit of the way up the trail to see the greenery along the side of the road. There was a campsite near the trail head, and I made a note to return at some point to camp here. Not this trip, but another one.

I turned my vehicle around and had to stop. I stared out and saw the majesty of Big Bend unfold in front of me. In the distance, I could see the mountains standing sentinel. Aside from the road under my feet, I saw no sign of humanity. No buildings, no street lights, no humans. I heard just the sound of the wind blowing through the basin. I looked out into the desert and clearly remember asking myself:

“Is this why some people believe in God?”

I never beheld the majesty of creation like this. To this day, I wouldn’t consider myself a religious person (and certainly not Christian), but there is definitely something spiritual in those remote places, where the spirits of ancient pagans still dwell.

Big Bend is easy to be alone in.

During those same driving days, I visited the ruins of a town called Castolon. Castolon got its start because of the fertile farming to be found along the banks of the Rio Grande. The oldest structure in the park, the Alvino House, was the original store that became a focal point for the growing population in the farming community of Castolon and the quicksilver mining community in Terlingua. Due to its proximity to the US-Mexican border, a number of military camps were established during the Mexican revolution, but these were never seriously occupied.

The Alvino House, the original store and the oldest structure in Big Bend.

What was common was smuggling! The populations of Anglos and Mexicans on either side of the border cooperated with each other often, and smuggling was simply a way of life. The old barracks was converted into the La Harmonia Store, which was damaged by a fire in 2019. I remember buying a water bottle and some candy there, but I sadly do not have any pictures of the store. But it looked like a post office out of an old western.

Castolon also displays the sheer biodiversity of the desert. Several of the older, standing buildings were off-limits due to safety, but a few of them had been turned into small museums, with tons of old pictures taken from times in Castolon’s history. I’ve always loved staring into old pictures, and standing where history has stood. But when I left that building after reading most of the pictures and captions, I stopped and looked out at the desert from the porch and saw a field of green.

You can read more about Castolon here.

Intense greenery along the Rio Grande.

By night, I journeyed back to Terlingua. I didn’t have a campsite in the park, so I wanted to get back before it got too dark. While I had been speaking to the hotelier at the Chisos Mining Company, she mentioned a place called the Long Draw Pizza. She also mentioned it filled up quickly. This was my first night after a full day in Big Bend. I arrived right at 4 to find a crowd already gathered. Still, I got inside and managed to secure a spot.

The proprietor was an absolute sweetheart, and the pizza was pretty good. I got a pineapple, pepperoni and onion pizza, as I recall. I had a few adult beverages as well. She was all alone, so it took her a while to get my meal, but she had a small library, so I read a book on loan from her while she read.

A loaner library because cell phone service is nonexistent. What a wonderful thing. When I left Long Draw Pizza, full and happy, it was pitch black. I had stepped in around 4 on a sunny afternoon. I had been in a dimly lit bar room for about 2 hours, maybe 3. In November. It was as if the lights had been turned off. This was a true darkness, one like I had never seen before. Last time, it happened gradually to my perception. This time was abrupt.

I got back to my hotel quicker this time, and made to get quickly inside my room as it was quite cold. By sheer chance, I saw my first glimpse of truly Dark Skies. I saw the entire universe before me - the vastness of space - and the insignificance of my own existence. It was intensely humbling to see the depths of existence, far beyond what my eyes could see. Lights of suns burned out before my ancestors ever evolved from the water.

I was one tiny note in the great composition that is creation, and I found myself pondering a singular thought for the second time that day:

“Is this why some people believe in God?”

I grabbed my coat from inside, and sat out in the lawn chair outside of my room. I basked under the darkest skies in North America, and attuned with the thrum of existence itself.

Thanks for reading~

This series was finished in my third post, which I you can read here.

#BigBendNP #adventure #nature