Leaving Libertarianism
It was 2008.
My father had just been laid off from his job as a supervisor in the oil field due to the 2008 Financial Crisis. The War on Terror in Southwest Asia was still raging despite the declaration of Mission Accomplished years before. I was beginning to grow into a more anti-war stance as I entered my twenties.
This was my major stance. The Republican Party was seeking to escalate the war after the 30000 troop surge the previous year, and Obama was seeking to redirect it.
I was appalled by the Orwellian tactics authorized under the Patriot Act. I was angry that corporations were deemed 'too big too fail' while my family and others struggled to keep going.
The Ron Paul Revolution
The only person I remember talking about all of these was a Texas Republican by the name of Ron Paul. As a young, white, male college student with a growing passion against war and the curbing of civil liberties, I was the target demographic of the Ron Paul Revolution. This led my best friend and I to discover Libertarianism.
I was an avid supporter. I attended an absolutely pathetic meeting of my campus libertarian club. I got involved in the local libertarian party. I nearly ran for Justice of the Peace. I had deluded myself into believing that third parties had a chance after Gary Johnson managed to show up with 1% of the popular vote, and man did my fellows go nuts.
But, it started to dawn on me - why were we celebrating? We had done okay for a third party. I had also started consuming more and more libertarian podcasts. The more time I spent among libertarians, the more I realized they were anti-government to the point they would cut off their nose to spite their own face. The mass delusion was a peculiar mix of thinking they had any mainstream appeal combining with positions not based in reality.
For example, one time I remember discussing a social safety net with another libertarian. They were, obviously, against the idea, claiming that if people paid less taxes, they would have more money to spend to take care of themselves. I argued that people would die if government aid programs were cut to nothing, but they insisted that community and 'the church' would take care of them.
A thing that does not happen.
I argued with another one that complete privatization of mail was unfeasible. That privatization of all the roads would actually restrict the ability of people to move. And yes, the government should involve itself in preserving natural spaces. I remember having a conversation with a liberal friend of a friend where we agreed a flat tax disproportionately favored the wealthy.
I was deluding myself. I'd never been a libertarian. I just wasn't brave enough to admit that.
2016 Election
I still thought I was a libertarian in 2016.
I decided I was going to go to the Libertarian Party National Convention in Orlando, Florida. I paid extra money to be a delegate. The presidential line up for the party was Gary Johnson (negative charisma), John McAfee (the tech world's late, problematic uncle) and Austin Petersen (who now makes dumb shit like this). It was somehow even more pathetic than the Paxton v. Cornyn shithow the Republican primary senate race is this midterm cycle.
I arrived the day before the delegation ceremony. I didn't pay the extra fee to go to any of the keynote speakers, so instead I went to visit the booths set up all along the hotel convention center hallway. I was struck by a few key, demographic details: Almost everyone I saw was male, and everyone I saw was white.
Things didn't improve beyond first blush. Everyone had a podcast of dubious quality. That seemed to be mostly what anyone had. And delusions, of course. I realized very quickly that I did not want to be among these people. There was an anime convention on the other side of the hotel which would have been a much better use of my time. I mulled over seeing about securing a ticket, but I instead went out to a noraebang with my friends.
I didn't return for the delegate ceremony. It was apparently an embarrassment, as some drama had started brewing between Gary Johnson and Austin Petersen. Also, a guy took his pants off on stage.
Libertarians are weird.
Breaking Off
I quietly pulled out of everything I had joined as part of my political identity after I got back form Orlando. I met my then-girlfriend (now wife) shortly after, who pointed out how all of my positions aligned with progressive positions. The wealth distribution should have been a really big clue.
I have no contact from any of the people from back then. Many of them are now right Republicans. Some have fallen into white nationalism; Trump's 2016 election brought out a nasty piece of themselves they had kept hidden under a veneer of small government principles. It makes sense: The Ron Paul campaign heavily relied on grassroots campaigning via Facebook. These same tools would be used to shift Donald Trump into power during the 2016 election.
My best friend, luckily, drifted left with me.
During my monthly peek in on Facebook, I saw a family member post that while it was unfortunate that school lunch funding was being cut, it wasn't his problem. This is ultimately the problem with libertarians: more than the delusions, more than ignoring social issues, the problem with libertarians is the virtue signaling around being a leech to society. Libertarians benefit from the society that they are in; from infrastructure to government programs, they reap the benefits while turning self-centeredness and social irresponsibility into a moral principle.